The Cathedral and the Chapel
The Unspoken Hierarchy of Relationships in Latin America
La Catedral y Las Capillitas
A lot of Latin American girls will show up to a date, come to your house, get comfortable, and ask point-blank: “Do you have a girlfriend, or are you married?”?
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For the longest time, I couldn’t get a straight explanation as to why they ask this. In my head, the logic of Western dating applied: if a guy is just trying to smash, why on earth would he answer honestly? Wouldn’t a confession like that ruin his chances and make her walk out the door?
One girl finally gave me an honest answer, opening a window into a part of the hyper-pragmatic cultural framework in Latin America
The House Shoes Trigger
The catalyst for this realization was a simple act of hospitality. I keep multiple pairs of house shoes at my place for guests. To me, it’s just being a good host, because I don’t want people wearing shoes in my house…But down here, it understandably makes many girls assume I have a girlfriend or a wife hidden away.
Some are so convinced of this that they flat-out refuse to wear them; they simply won’t put their feet in another girl’s shoes. Yet, strangely, it never seems to stop them from staying.
That was the first clue. The question isn’t a trap designed to find an excuse to leave. They ask the question knowing full well they are already there to hook up. They aren’t judging your morals here…some chicks just want to know where they stand and where the relationship might go beforehand.
The Rule of Cuentas Claras
In many Western dating cultures, men lie about being single because they assume a woman will leave if he admits he is taken. But in Latin America, the rules of engagement are dictated by a concept known as “cuentas claras” (clear accounts)…
Many women would actually be far more furious about being lied to and treated like a fool than they would be about the actual existence of another woman.
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