Setting Up Date Via Text - Recipe
You had an amazing time with a girl. The two of you hit it off, exchanged banter and laughs, connected with each other, and she gave you her phone number. You planned to meet up in the next week or two.
However, when you text her a few days later and ask, "Hey, how's it going?" she either doesn't respond or her response isn't what you hoped for. You might wonder, "What happened to the fun, receptive girl from the other night who was excited about going out with me?"
There's a reason why this happens, and it's also why most guys fail when they text women.
You forgot the primary reason you got her number: to set up a date and potentially progress things further—not to engage in endless texting.
Texting is for Logistics
Remember this: your top priority when texting girls is arranging the date. Every text message should bring you closer to that goal.
So, how can you do this correctly? It starts with the first text. Additionally, you should always text her the next day. Forget the whole "wait a couple days" bullshit. We live in a time where everything moves fast. You need to strike while hot. If you wait and try to play games, decent chicks with options will simply forget about you or move on. The first text should trigger her memory of who you are and evoke the emotions from your initial interaction. This reminds her of why she gave you her number in the first place.
Here's an example of a text exchange that led to a date, starting from the first message:
Me: "Almost had a nervous breakdown today. Overwhelmed with self-consciousness over my abundance of American fashion sense."
Her: "jaja I’m at work.. I’m not supposed to be on my phone, but I'm still laughing"
Me: "Yea..and that weird accent of yours doesn’t help"
Her: "Stop…Don’t be rude… but what are you doing today?"
For context, you met this girl the night before, and during our interaction, she teased me about your shirt, and you teased her about her accent. So, you made some humorous remarks related to those topics, and she responded positively.
You can easily craft a text like this by thinking of something from your conversation or the environment and making a slightly sarcastic statement about it. This kind of text is much better than the generic and boring texts that most guys send.
Once you've sent a few initial texts and the conversation is flowing, it's time to plan the meet-up. There are two different approaches you can take, depending on how responsive the girl is to your previous texts.
If she's responsive and the conversation flows, she's already interested in hanging out with you. In this case, you can be more casual with your text but still take the lead and arrange the logistics. The key is to suggest a plan and offer two different time options. For example:
"Let's grab a drink this week. There's a rooftop bar in Condesa with a mojito special. What works better for you, Tuesday or Thursday night?"
This approach shifts her thinking from a simple "Yes" or "No" to considering which time works best for her. If one of the suggested times doesn't work, she'll often propose an alternative. I don’t recommend asking what day she’s free because YOU are supposed to be the one leading and setting up the date.
However, if she's not very responsive to your texts, you may need to be more assertive. When you feel like there's almost no chance she'll respond or meet up with you, it's time to be straightforward. Only use this text if it genuinely reflects how you feel about the girl:
"Hey girl. I'm going to cut the BS. You're one of the cutest girls I've met in [City Name], and we should get together soon and either grab a drink or rob a bank—whichever you're in the mood for."
Never leave anything on the table. This rule can apply to many aspects of life, especially when it comes to interacting with girls. This way, you'll never regret not taking that extra chance. The general rule of the game is that women never punish you for pushing forward; they only punish you for showing weakness.
One more thing to note: I recommend starting with drinks on the first date. Why? Because a bar is a social and low-pressure environment. Unlike a dinner date where you commit to a 1-2 hour encounter with someone you hardly know, drinks are more relaxed. If you don't click, you can part ways after the first drink without any harm done.
The other benefit of starting with drinks is the flexibility to move around. You can have a drink at one bar and then explore others, turning your date into an adventure.
In summary, here are the four key rules to follow when setting up a successful date through texting:
1. Start with a short, humorous statement that reminds her of your initial interaction.
2. Be playful and self-amused in your texts. Always ask yourself, "Does this text bring me closer to setting up a date or add value to her day?" If not, reconsider sending it.
3. When arranging the date, offer two time options to shift her thinking from "Yes" or "No" to "When."
4. Choose drinks for the first date as it's simple, low-pressure, and allows for an adventurous evening.
Now that you have the date schedule, you just need to execute the blueprint. Don’t go into your date without a plan.
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