Culture Contrasts in Latino and Foreign Courtship
I interviewed a dozen Latinas to find out the differences between dating Latin men and Foreign men.
In an effort to uncover the differences in dating styles between local men (Mexicans and Latinos) and foreigners, I interviewed multiple female friends.
Each of these women shared their personal experiences, highlighting the unique behaviors, attitudes, and values they encountered while dating both local and foreign men.
Below, I'll post the questions and their responses in hopes that both Latinos and Foreigners can understand some of the views of the women they date and get a behind-the-scenes view of some of the cultural dynamics.
Each interview will include individual summaries with a finally summary at the end.
* I have translated all of these from Spanish to English considering the majority of readers are Native English speakers.
Questions
What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa?
Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
I also asked a set of follow-up questions to dive deeper.
Regarding the things you mentioned about Latino men, what do you really like about them?
I've heard some women think it's fake or that they lie more often. What are your thoughts on this?
What do you think foreigners could do better? Or what do you think they don't understand?
Do you prefer one over the other?
Alejandra, 22, Hotel Concierge
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
As a Mexican, I think I'm more accustomed to chivalrous behavior. Generally, Mexican men open the door for you, pull out the chair, let you go first… those kinds of things that neither the Americans nor the Dutch I have dated tend to do much.
2. Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
Once, I went out with an American who thought he was doing me a favor by going out with me and treated me the entire date as if I only wanted his green card. At the end of the night, he was overly insistent on taking me to bed, as if I owed it to him. One thing I don't like about going out with foreigners is that they think you only want to leave the country and that their countries are better, which sometimes makes it seem like they are doing you a favor by going out with you.
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
I love comparing customs and lifestyles, and that foreigners are willing to try any Mexican food, whereas Mexicans or Latinos are more attached to what they know, both in terms of places and food. They are fascinated by the difference in personalities, so they idolize any expression, display of affection, dance, or customs.
4. Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
Yes, the expectation that foreigners have of Mexican women is that they are loud, intense, family-oriented, and very sexual. I have met several who want Latinas because they have the idea that they will give them a family and be 100% dedicated to that, cooking for them and being there 24/7.
Summary
Alejandra highlighted that Mexican/Latino men are generally more chivalrous, doing things like opening doors and pulling out chairs, which she does not often experience with American or Dutch men. She shared a negative experience with an American who assumed she was only interested in a green card and pressured her to sleep with him. She enjoys the cultural exchange with foreign men, especially their willingness to try new things, unlike some Mexican/Latino men who stick to what they know. However, she also notes that foreigners often have stereotypes about Mexican women, expecting them to be loud, intense, and entirely dedicated to family and household duties.
Anita, 26, Artist
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
Text messages, warmth (things that are normal here like hugging people or sharing food), Latinos have different attentions and are usually more attentive, but they can also be less respectful. I think Latino men are more jealous than other nationalities; they also have attentions like opening the door for you or greeting you in the morning. Other nationalities are more direct and comfortable being clear about where the relationship is going, but they are also colder.
2. Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
Good experience( With Foreigners): There was a lot of trust, and I felt comfortable in the relationship because I wasn't pressured or bombarded with messages. Everything was always clear, and we remained friends after it ended.
Bad experience ( With Foreigners): I was treated as if they were doing me a favor because I was Latina and they didn't hesitate to tell me how replaceable I was. They were cold and sometimes rude. One ended things with me via text because they found someone who "suited them better."
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
Latinos: They are more chivalrous and warm. Foreigners: They are clearer and less jealous.
4. Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
Yes, especially in the pace of things and expectations, but in the end, we are all human.
Summary
Anita noted that Mexican/Latino men are generally warmer and more chivalrous, with gestures like hugging and sharing food, but they can also be more jealous and less respectful. In contrast, foreign men are more direct and clear about relationship intentions but tend to be colder. She shared both good and bad experiences: a positive relationship with clear communication and no pressure, and a negative one where she was treated as replaceable due to being Latina. Ultimately, she finds that values and expectations can differ, especially in the speed and clarity of relationships.
Giselle, 27, Doctor
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
There isn't much difference. Men are men... haha. But being more serious, I would say that American men have more of a "Million Dollar" mindset, while Mexican men don't worry as much about money, or at least most of them don't. Also, American men are not as passionate in bed as Mexican men. I'm not saying they are bad in bed, just more distant.
2. Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
Bad experience with an American man: He used me to try to get information about a friend of mine he wanted to date.
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
What I like about going out with foreigners is that they want to get to know the city and the differences between us. What I like about going out with Mexicans is that they make me laugh a lot and are passionate. Most of them.
4. Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
Yes, I think values differ. Mexico and the USA have different social contexts, cultures, languages, histories, and people, so I think there are different values.
Follow-Up Questions
What are the things you really like about Latino men, like the things you mentioned?
I like that they are passionate and have a more Latino sense of humor. Most of them care about their families, which shows they have good values. But again, some Latino men are exceptions to this.
I've heard some women think it's fake or that they lie more often.
I think men lie equally around the world, but it is common in Mexico for men not to be very honest with the girls they date.
What do you think foreigners could do better? Or what do you think they don't understand?
I think foreigners could be a bit more open, starting with making an effort to learn the language.
Do you prefer one over the other?
I prefer the man who gives me the freedom to be myself and likes me for who I am.
Summary
Giselle noted that there isn't much difference between men, but American men tend to have more money/career compared to Mexican men. She finds American men less passionate in bed. Ultimately, she prefers a man who allows her to be herself and appreciates her for who she is.
Karen, 27, Journalist
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
Mexicans and Latinos are more macho and dominant, while foreigners are more open and relaxed.
2. Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
Latinos believe you belong to them like a possession and can become obsessive, although they have more passion and are more fiery. Foreigners, especially Europeans, are colder and more liberal.
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
I like Latinos for their fire and the way they dance. Foreigners, depending on where they are from, have different qualities. They are more open, more relaxed, and enjoy traveling, discovering, and exploring. I don't like the machismo that still exists in Mexico, although it is slowly decreasing.
4. Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
Both are respectful, but foreigners are more direct, while Latinos beat around the bush. Latinos are more committed, while foreigners are more about enjoying the moment since they are often only in the city for a short time. Few foreigners commit because they are traveling souls and fear commitment.
Summary
Karen also pointed out that Mexican/Latino men tend to be more macho and dominant, whereas foreigners are more open and relaxed. She mentioned that Latinos can be possessive and obsessive but are also more passionate. In contrast, Europeans tend to be colder but more liberal. Karen appreciates the fiery nature and dancing skills of Latinos, while she finds foreigners more open and adventurous. However, she dislikes the persistent machismo in Mexico. She also noted that while both groups are respectful, foreigners are more direct and less committed, often due to their transient lifestyle, whereas Latinos are more committed but less straightforward.
Paulina, 25, Ballet Dancer
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
Latino men are generally warmer. Foreign men, in my experience and with some exceptions, ask more interesting questions and talk less about themselves.
2. Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
Bad experience with Mexicans: There's always a macho one. Bad experience with foreigners: I once went out with a homophobic Russian; it was very unpleasant. Good experience with Mexicans: Their sense of humor can be amazing, and there's no language barrier. Good experience with foreigners: I went out with a very detail-oriented Italian; it was lovely.
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
I think some jokes don't translate well, but other than that, the quality of the person is what matters most to me.
4. Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
In my experience, it hasn't been the case, but I think it's because I'm very clear from the beginning.
Follow-Up Questions
What are the things you really like about Latino men, like the things you mentioned?
I really like the warmth and sense of humor of Latinos in general.
What do you think foreigners could do better? Or what do you think they don't understand?
Maybe take more interest in asking these kinds of questions to see if there is genuine compatibility and companionship.
Do you prefer one over the other?
I don't have a preference. As long as they take me dancing, enjoy having deep conversations, and have a good sense of humor, it's a great date.
Summary
Paulina noted that Latino men are generally warmer, whereas foreign men ask more interesting questions and talk less about themselves. She values the warmth and humor of Latinos and believes honesty depends on the individual rather than nationality. She suggests foreigners could improve by asking more meaningful questions to find genuine compatibility.
Ximena, 27, Model
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
The "gestures of chivalry." For example, opening the car door for you, letting you walk on the side of the wall instead of the curb where cars pass, letting you go first in a narrow hallway. Foreigners always go first themselves, haha. No foreigner has ever given me flowers or engaged in the kind of courtship that I find very beautiful. And of course, they don't ask if you want to be their girlfriend; foreigners understand that after dating for a while, you are already a couple.
2. Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
Overall, it has been good; I think I prefer them a bit. I believe my skin color (Latino) is much more attractive to foreigners than to Mexicans. The country is somewhat racist; they will treat someone with white skin better than someone with brown skin. So personally, I feel more "valued" by foreigners than by Mexicans. My last "relationship" was with a German, and surprisingly, he was super sweet, affectionate, needy, and touchy, haha. So I can't say that foreigners are cold because my theory vanished with the German.
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
Latinos: They are more chivalrous and warm. Foreigners: They are clearer and less jealous.
4. Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
I don't think values differ, and expectations probably don't either. The point is to communicate what you feel from the beginning.
Summary
Ximena highlighted that Mexican/Latino men often display more traditional gestures of chivalry, such as opening doors and letting you walk on the safer side of the sidewalk, which she hasn't experienced as much with foreigners. She mentioned that foreigners don't usually engage in traditional courtship behaviors like giving flowers and often assume a relationship status without formal discussion. Ximena feels more valued by foreigners, who tend to find her Latina skin color more attractive.
Celene, 23, Model
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
Mexican men tend to be chivalrous but still have a macho attitude. Foreign men are usually open-minded, don't have macho behaviors, are more free-spirited, and don't judge women.
2. Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
Personally, I don't go out with Mexicans because I've had bad experiences with aggressive and macho behavior, and they often try to belittle women (though not all Mexicans are like this). When going out with foreigners, I've enjoyed sharing diverse cultures. They are nice, attentive, and chivalrous, although sometimes they are only here for short periods and are just looking for one-night stands.
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
What I don't like about going out with foreigners is the 50/50 attitude or that they don't want to put in the effort to woo you. They think that because they are foreigners, we should say yes to everything. I also dislike being called exotic or being asked for sex when we've just met.
Summary
Celene noted that Mexican men tend to be chivalrous but often exhibit macho behavior, whereas foreign men are generally more open-minded and non-judgmental. She shared that she avoids dating Mexican men due to past negative experiences with aggressive and macho attitudes. In contrast, she enjoys the cultural diversity and attentiveness of foreign men, although she dislikes their occasional lack of effort and assumptions about women. She finds it off-putting when foreigners expect immediate compliance or label her as exotic.
Gabriela, 25, Online Fashion Shop
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
Mexican men are romantic but very cautious about what they say and do during the date. They are quite stingy with money and often ask to split the bill. Foreigners (from Alaska, India, China, the United States) are quite generous; they have never let me pay for anything, bought me clothes and many things on the first date, and are not afraid to show who they really are.
2. Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
Bad experience with Mexicans: They are generally very dishonest. Bad experience with foreigners: Honestly, no, except sometimes they go back to their countries, which feels sad.
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
I love that foreigners are so direct, daring, and very generous. I love that Mexicans are very romantic.
4. Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
Yes, they are very different, although it varies by person. In some cultures, there is no need to ask for a formal relationship, whereas in Mexico, it is expected.
Summary
Gabriela highlighted that Mexican men are romantic but cautious and often stingy, frequently asking to split the bill. In contrast, she finds foreigners to be generous and straightforward. She shared negative experiences with dishonest Mexican men but no significant bad experiences with foreigners, except for the sadness when they return to their countries. Gabriela appreciates the directness, daring nature, and generosity of foreigners and the romantic nature of Mexicans. She also noted that relationship expectations differ, with formal relationships being more expected in Mexico compared to other cultures.
Carmen, 31, Doctor
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
In my experience, Latinos are more affectionate, funnier, and more chivalrous. However, they don't put in as much effort as foreigners, who are more intense and direct. I also love that foreigners share new things about their countries with me and are amazed by how affectionate we are in Mexico.
2. Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
One day, I met a German, and we went out to dinner. Afterward, we went to a bar and had an amazing time. He had a flight the next day but canceled his plans to go to the beach to stay with me. On another occasion, I went out with a guy from university. We went to the movies, and it started raining heavily. He left me alone at the mall because he said he wanted to go home and that nothing would happen to me, haha.
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
The humor of foreigners is very different. Mexicans are very funny, and we share the same sense of humor.
4. Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
I've dated Mexicans who don't know what they want and don't mind making promises even though they don't intend to formalize the relationship.
Summary
Carmen noted that Latino men are generally more affectionate, funnier, and more chivalrous but don't put in as much effort as foreigners, who are more intense and direct. Carmen also highlighted that some Mexican men are unclear about their intentions and make promises without intending to formalize the relationship. She values the cultural exchange and new experiences
Juliana, 22, Social Media Manager (Colombian)
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
For Latinos and Mexicans, picking you up is almost mandatory, while with foreigners, it's often easier to meet somewhere.
Language can be an issue; sometimes English is necessary.
Foreigners seem more curious about you and your culture.
The sense of humor is different.
2. Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
Good with a foreigner: He invited me to his town.
Good with a Latino: They know the place better and always have a more secure plan.
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
I can practice my English.
I get to know different cultures.
4. Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
Many foreigners are just passing through, so they are not really looking for something serious (though not all of them).
Summary
Juliana highlighted that Latinos and Mexicans often consider it essential to pick you up for a date, while with foreigners, meeting at a location is more common. She finds foreigners more curious about her and her culture, and she notes the difference in humor. However, she pointed out that many foreigners are just passing through and not seeking serious relationships, although this is not true for all.
Katarina, 34, Art Gallery Owner
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
Latino men are more traditional, can be protective, jealous, expressive, and passionate. They are more dependent on family or the bond created in the interaction. Sometimes they feel that the girl they are dating belongs to them, which can create conflicts. They are more macho, and due to the cultural education we grew up with, we adopt power roles.
American men are more egalitarian, somewhat more reserved, direct in communication, independent, and value their personal space more. They are confident and more open-minded. They are not as expressive and seem more reserved or think more before expressing themselves.
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
What I like about going out with foreign men is that everything is more relaxed. They have never made a jealous scene, they know what they want, are objective and direct. They are more open-minded and confident.
4. Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
They differ due to belonging to a culture where habits, customs, interactions, and beliefs are thought of and exercised differently.
Summary
Katarina highlighted that Latino men are more traditional, protective, jealous, expressive, and passionate, but can also be possessive and macho due to cultural upbringing. They tend to adopt power roles and are more dependent on family bonds. In contrast, American men are more egalitarian, reserved, direct, independent, and value their personal space. They are confident, open-minded, and less expressive. She enjoys the relaxed nature of dating foreigners, who are clear about their intentions and avoid jealous scenes.
Ari, 31, Marketing Manager
1. What are the main differences in behavior and attitudes between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners when going out?
Latino men are more respectful overall in the way they treat others, view the world, and court women in dating. Americans, for example, are a lot more free and shameless in how they go about dating. More ghosting, more inconsiderate dating, I would say.
2. Could you share a personal experience, good or bad, when going out with Mexican/Latino men versus foreigners?
One of my boyfriends was Puerto Rican. I remember on one of our dates, his car got towed. He handled everything (it was his car, his fault, his responsibility). I was still nervous and trying to help, of course, but he was very reassuring and handled it. His parents came to pick us up (when Uber didn’t exist), etc.
My later boyfriend was American. On his way to see me one day, he slid on black ice. I came to get him since it was late, etc. His parents also came. Ultimately, they blamed it on me because he was coming to see me. He was a very privileged man from a wealthy family. Idk—just lack of accountability and weird energy from him and his family.
3. Is there something you like or dislike about going out with foreign men compared to Mexican/Latino men? Vice versa.
I don’t really have anything specific.
4. Do values and expectations in a relationship differ between Mexican/Latino men and foreigners?
Sometimes, but not always. I think both can be womanizers or family-oriented. It depends on the person, age, etc. I do think Latino men are more romantic; they pursue love more than lust, whereas American men value lust/sex/situationships more.
Summary
Ari finds Latino men to be more respectful in their treatment of others and more traditional in their courtship. She perceives American men as more inconsiderate Ari appreciates the romance and love-driven pursuit of Latino men, contrasting it with the lust-driven approach of many American men. She acknowledges that values and expectations can vary widely among individuals regardless of their nationality.
In General
Differences in Behavior and Attitudes
Mexican/Latino men are often described as:
Chivalrous and Romantic: They engage in traditional gestures like opening doors, being protective, and showing affection.
Jealous and Macho: Some women noted that Latino men can be possessive and exhibit macho attitudes.
Humorous and Warm: They have a great sense of humor and are generally more expressive and affectionate.
Dependent on Family: Family ties and bonds are important, which influences their interactions and expectations in relationships.
Foreign men, on the other hand, are seen as:
Generous and Direct: They tend to be more open-minded, direct in communication, and often generous, paying for dates and being straightforward about their intentions.
Independent and Reserved: They value personal space, are more egalitarian, and can be less expressive emotionally.
Curious about Cultures: Foreigners show a genuine interest in learning about different cultures and experiences.
Personal Experiences
Good experiences with Mexican/Latino men often highlight their sense of humor, passion, and romantic gestures. However, negative experiences include dishonesty, macho behavior, and possessiveness.
Positive experiences with foreigners emphasize their generosity, willingness to share and learn about cultures, and straightforwardness. Some negative experiences mentioned include foreigners being transient, leading to short-term relationships, and occasionally lacking effort in courtship.
Preferences and Dislikes
Likes about Latinos:
Their passion, warmth, and romantic nature.
Shared sense of humor and cultural familiarity.
Dislikes about Latinos:
Macho attitudes and jealousy.
Sometimes being overly dependent on family and traditional roles.
Likes about Foreigners:
Generosity and directness.
Open-mindedness and cultural curiosity.
Less jealousy and more relaxed attitudes towards dating.
Dislikes about Foreigners:
Being transient and often not seeking serious relationships.
Different sense of humor and sometimes lack of effort in courtship.
What Foreigners Could Do Better
Learn the Language: Making an effort to learn the local language can bridge communication gaps and show genuine interest.
Show More Effort in Courtship: Putting in more effort to woo and court can be appreciated.
Ask Meaningful Questions: Taking an interest in understanding the partner's culture and values can build deeper connections.
Avoid Making Assumptions: Foreigners should not assume that their partner will automatically comply with everything just because they are foreigners.
Values and Expectations
Values and expectations in relationships differ based on cultural backgrounds. Latino men are often more committed and romantic, while foreigners might prioritize personal space and independence. Communication is crucial to bridge these cultural differences and ensure compatibility.
My personal thoughts:
When it comes to foreigners, many have a lot of expectations about Latinas that guide their dating decisions. Sometimes these expectations are true, and sometimes they are false, but as a foreigner, you often get a pass on negative behavior or behavior that’s out of the norm for Latinas. Most foreign men come from environments where women are much more masculine, so they’ve been conditioned to be colder, less “gentlemanly,” and less affectionate. A prime example is comparing public displays of affection (PDA). Latin culture is very pro-PDA, whereas more foreign cultures are shy in this respect.
At the same time, Latinas interested in dating foreigners often seek the opposite of how Latino men act towards them. I believe if the average foreign guy adapted additional displays of affection into their courtship, they would captivate the average Latina because they are getting the best of both worlds.
As for Latino men, they should lighten up a bit, especially in bigger cities where there are now job opportunities for women. Regardless of personal feelings on the subject, the times when women were purely dependent on men are gone, and many women don’t want to be treated like property, especially knowing that most people are still living with their parents or with roommates. If Latino men adopted the foreign mindset of being more open and curious, I believe they would be more successful with the higher tiers of women in the city.
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